


The Incredibly Moronic Prat Who Lived

by hopelocklet



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble, First Dates, Flirty Harry, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 14:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11945850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelocklet/pseuds/hopelocklet
Summary: The last person Harry expected to buy a copy of his biography was Draco Malfoy, and he certainly didn't expect Draco buying his biography to lead to Harry crushing on him.





	The Incredibly Moronic Prat Who Lived

Harry frowned when he looked down at the counter and was faced with his own biography, _Harry Potter, The Incredibly Heroic Boy Who Lived (Twice!)_. When he accepted the job at Flourish and Blotts he never considered that he might have to sell books that were written about himself. Harry’s frown turned into a grimace when he realized that the customer buying this book would probably be starstruck when they realized that the one and only Harry Potter was standing on the other side of the counter.

But when Harry looked up to see the customer, he was the one who was starstruck. Because standing in front of him was Draco Malfoy. Unbearably attractive, adorably flustered Draco Malfoy.

“Potter,” Draco said, shocked.

Harry was too busy staring at the blond, memorizing every perfect detail of his face, to respond. He hadn’t seen Draco since his trial two years ago, and the last he heard Draco was in France studying to be a Healer. France has been good for Draco, Harry thought as he admired Draco’s no longer skinny, but fit body. Draco was also silently appreciating Harry’s appearance, but the blond had been taught that it was impolite to stare, so he broke the silence by clearing his throat. Harry’s eyes immediately flew to Draco’s face.

“Malfoy,” Harry said, his voice hoarse. “How have you been?”

“Spectacular as always,” Draco answered dryly. “And you?”

“I’ve been…” Harry searched for a casual way to say completely lost. “Fine.”

Draco nodded. Both boys seemed at a loss for words and Harry looked back down at the book on the counter. The book about him. That Draco was buying, for some reason.

“Er, interesting book choice, Malfoy.” Harry smiled as he watched a faint blush creep onto Draco’s cheeks.

“Yes, well, naturally I’m only buying this book so I can burn it.”

“Burn it?” Harry asked disbelievingly.

“Obviously I’m not going to read it.” Draco held his head high in an aristocratic manner.

“I’m not sure if I believe you, Malfoy. I think maybe you are going to read this book. I think maybe you’re going to swoon at the parts where I save the day, stare longingly at the illustrations of me and draw little hearts next to my name,” Harry teased. He had too much pride to admit that he wouldn’t actually mind if Draco did do those things while reading his biography.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Draco said and he scoffed. He had too much pride to admit that those were things he actually did do while reading a Harry Potter biography when he was ten.

“Just saying, Malfoy. This is highly suspicious.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “You should be fired, Potter. Honestly, you’re making me want to not buy the book.”

“Is it because the real life version of me is so much better than the written version?” Harry said, wondering where his boldness was coming from.

“Frankly, nothing could be worse than the real life version of you,” Draco replied, but the corners of his mouth were turned up in an almost-smile.

“Really? Real life me is worse than being turned into a ferret?” Harry smiled as Draco scowled.

“That was six years ago. I do wish that everyone would just let it go.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you were adorable as a ferret,” Harry commented, his smile growing.

“Malfoys are not adorable, Potter,” Draco said stubbornly, though his cheeks pinkened.

“That’s debatable.” Draco opened his mouth to protest, but Harry continued, “ _Harry Potter, The Incredibly Heroic Boy Who Lived (Twice!)_ costs one galleon and two sickles.”

Draco huffed as he retrieved the money from his robes. “If you ask me, I should be the one getting paid for reading this book. No doubt it will bore me half to death.”

Harry chuckled and asked, “Oh, so you’re going to read it then? I thought you were going to burn it.”

“Maybe I’ve changed my mind. Maybe I’m hoping that this book mentions the enormous crush you had on me at Hogwarts.”

“I’m sorry, what? Me having a crush on you? Ridiculous.” Harry blushed as he spoke, because although he hadn’t had a crush on Draco in school, he certainly felt he might be developing a crush on Draco now.

“We’ll just see what the book has to say.” Draco smirked as he slid the book off the counter.

“Yeah, maybe the book will say that you’re the one who had a crush on me.”

Draco suddenly looked away, not wanting his eyes to reveal that the book would be spot on if it said Draco had a crush on Harry. “You wish,” he said.

Harry grinned. “That’s my line.” Draco promptly returned his gaze to Harry’s face, surprised that Harry remembered saying that in second year. Harry winked and said, “Nice seeing you, Malfoy.”

“Likewise, Potter.” And with that, Draco left.

Harry tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach as he helped the next customer.

 

It was a week later when Draco returned to Flourish and Blotts.

Harry was behind the counter, but all his attention was on the latest issue of Seeker Weekly. Draco smiled at the sight of Harry’s brow furrowing in concentration as he read.

Draco cleared his throat loudly, startling Harry so much that he dropped his magazine.

“Draco.” Harry greeted the blond. When Draco raised his eyebrows, Harry realized what he’d just said. “Oh, sorry. I just- I can call you Malfoy, if you don’t want me to call you Draco.”

“No, it’s okay. Call me whatever you want, Harry.”

Harry smiled widely at the sound of his first name in Draco’s mouth. “What brings you to Flourish and Blotts at this time of night?” he asked curiously. It was almost seven at night, and Harry was actually supposed to have closed up the store half an hour ago.

“I’m here to make a return.”

“A return?”

“Yes. I bought a book last week that I was quite unsatisfied with.”

“Is that so? May I ask what made this book such a disappointment?”

“I found it to be full of lies.”

Harry frowned. “Lies?”

“That’s right. This book is a disgrace. It claims that Harry Potter is a chivalrous hero, but I know for a fact that he’s nothing more than an insufferable git,” Draco said, fighting to keep his tone sincere.

Harry hummed as he considered this. “That is appalling. Where is the book in question?”

Draco pulled _Harry Potter, The Incredibly Heroic Boy Who Lived (Twice!)_ out from a pocket in his robes and set it on the counter. Harry looked down at the book and laughed. Because Draco had crossed out the words ‘heroic’ and ‘boy’ and instead wrote in the words ‘moronic’ and ‘prat’, so that the title of the book was now _Harry Potter, The Incredibly Moronic Prat Who Lived (Twice!)_.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Draco said. “I made some necessary corrections to the book. I suggest that you look them over. I’ll be back tomorrow in case you have any feedback about my notes.”

Harry looked back and forth between the book and Draco in awe. Draco wanted to see him again? Tomorrow? Calm down, Harry told himself, he’s not asking you out on a date.

“Sounds great,” Harry said.

Draco sighed in relief and smiled. “Good. I’ll see you then.”

He turned to go, and just before he stepped out the door, Harry called, “Good night, Draco!” Draco walked to his flat with a smile on his face.

 

As soon as Harry got home, he set to work reading all of Draco’s notes in the book. He found himself laughing at every turn of the page. Draco had commented on almost every paragraph, and he left multiple critiques next to every sentence that mentioned himself. It took Harry two hours to reach the end of the book. He smiled as he was about to close the book, excited to discuss the book with Draco tomorrow. But then something in the corner of the inside back cover caught his eye.

“ _If you’ve actually gone through this entire book reading my obnoxious remarks, then you must like me at least a little, and I’m hoping that means you’ll accompany me on a date. That is, unless you’re scared, Potter.”_

Harry grinned as he read the words. He grabbed a pen from his coffee table and scribbled in:

“ _Me, scared? You wish._ ”

 

Two days later, Draco and Harry were walking down Diagon Alley hand in hand.

“That’s it, over there,” Harry said, pointing to the restaurant he was bringing Draco to for their first date.

Draco grinned shyly. The restaurant looked fancy, and was probably a place Harry wouldn’t even consider going to if he wasn’t trying to impress Draco.

The maître d' greeted the pair with a tight smile when they entered. “Good evening,” the maître d’ said in a heavy italian accent.

“Good evening,” Harry returned. “We have a reservation for two.”

“Name?”

“The incredibly moronic prat who lived,” Harry said, winking at Draco when the blond arched an eyebrow.

“Ah, yes,” the maître d’ said, slightly disdainfully. “ _That_ reservation.”

Draco rolled his eyes at Harry as the maître d’ led them to their table, but when Harry squeezed his hand, he squeezed back.


End file.
